Musings of a (slightly) older single woman

Posts tagged ‘Madness’

When is backsliding a good thing?

Playing on the Merry go round

Playing on the Merry go round by The Knowles Gallery via Flickr

I have been seeing my ex quite often recently – as friends only.  He is lonely and so am I so I thought it would not be a bad thing.  Just over a week ago we spent the whole day together alone doing stuff that we used to do together.  The evening ended on an intimate note  which it should not have done.  I was weak.  I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for me.

How can I forget the things he did. How can I not remember how he lied and pulled the wool over my eyes while he messed with other girls?  Externally he creates the impression of being a kind and loving man – very considerate and such a gentleman – I know he does this – yet I let it work on me again.  I also know that he lies and cheats.  He has still not admitted to everything that happened.

And I frigging let him under my skin again!  AM I MAD?

I don’t want him back.  I know this.  What am I doing?  He is being so sweet and kind to me – is it real?  Probably not? He is a psychologist.  He messes with my stupid, stupid head.  I LET him!!!!

 

Gah!